The upper class families were generous in their shares, when asked what advice they would give the parents of USAFA Class 2021, about the cadets’ first break. The overall theme was to be flexible . . . no two experiences are the same and most expectations should be left behind.
Expectations, Whose Turn Is It Anyways!
“Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting.” ~Haruki Murakami
When it comes to expectations, in my experience, naming them, sharing them and accepting that they don’t often occur as we envision is the best way to achieve happiness. It is easy to build up expectations in our minds, of the first time our cadet is home, of the child we knew returning. The truth is they have been pushing through the toughest tunnel of their lives and are not the same person, how could they be? “Yup, new ways to expect things have to be accepted,” encourages T. Washer.
So, Whose Turn Is It Anyways?
Adjust the expectation of how your cadet will be at any given time and accept them.
- “Your DD/DS might still be on adrenaline when s/he first gets home, but you just might see a crash after (meaning a lot of sleep)” ~ T. Royse
- “Really hungry . . . make all your cadets favorites” ~ P. Taglieri
- “Sleep, eat, lay on the couch, sleep some more, eat, hand out with friends, eat, REPEAT” ~ S. Cavender
- “And don’t expect them to want to put on the uniform any time during the break until . . .” ~ S. Moroz
Adjust the expectation that your cadet will keep their room or things, and your house, orderly and accept that they are enjoying a few days without the cadre breathing down their backs.
- “Dropping their stuff and leaving it where it lies . . . no SAMI” ~ L. Schumacher
- ” . . . rewarsh clothes because they hadn’t been washed since PW. The smell is forever in my nasal cavity” ~ J. Capocci
- “Messy room!!” ~ J. Wessel
- “Do NOT expect a clean organized room. No miracles happened to them, hahaha, and they want to not have to worry about where their stuff is” ~ T. Washer
Adjust the expectation that your cadet will be around you all the time, and enjoy the moments they are there.
- “My husband and I were second fiddle to the girlfriend” ~ S. Cooper
- “My cadet has had so many cool opportunities she opted to take instead of coming home on her breaks. Awesome for her, a bit of a bummer for this mama that misses her so much” ~ K. Olson-Meyer
- “They’ll spend more time with friends than family” ~ J. Johnson
Adjust the expectation that it will happen the way you have envisioned and accept what comes.
- “. . . when I was asking if he wanted to invite friends over, he told me that at the Academy he was never ALONE, and he just wanted to zone out with some computer games. I hadn’t really thought about it that way, and Doolies have it especially hard before Recognition” ~ M. Pearce
Adjust their expectation and ask for one time dedicated to family.
- “We asked him to give us Thanksgiving Day, the entire day, to spend with our families, and he honored that” ~ R. Watkins
- “. . . ask the cadet for one specific date and time when you need them to focus on the family, and then step aside, honor their commitments, and let them enjoy their freedom” ~ N. Echeverry
Thanksgiving Day Break is a short visit, full of change for our cadets. They will first deal with things being different, not having to worry about hearing loud barks to drop and give 10 (not an invitation to do so – although I admit I would find that funny – THEY MAY NOT!). Then, a few days later they wake up to the last day when they have to start getting back into the mindset of returning to harsh conditions. Whose Turn Is It Anyways? It is their turn. Be kind. Be understanding. And Keep telling yourself that Christmas Break (i.e. more time) is just a hop, skip and a jump away.
Thank you again for visiting. We have been sharing these posts on our Facebook Page, then we share to the USAFA 2021 Parents Page. We will begin weening us all off of that share soon, so please make sure you “like” and/or “follow” the USAFA 2021 Spirit Mission Facebook page.